How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
