this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
