so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize
