Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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