I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
