lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
