i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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