Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
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I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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