is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
