so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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