You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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