So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
