i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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