ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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