on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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