Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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