She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
