Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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