i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
