Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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