I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Sober January is a disaster.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
i out mim tonsoeep
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize