Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
