I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
