I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
