i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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