Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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