When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize