Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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