So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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