does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
