OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
