I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize