Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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