Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
