you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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