I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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