the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
