Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
And then he peed in my hair
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