U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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