my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Your cock deserves a montage
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
