The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
