How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize