Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You left your phone here
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