I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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