hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm way too hungover for life right now
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
