Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
