Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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