I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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