I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
