then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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