Non-Jews are for practice
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
