he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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