Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
