My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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