last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
