yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
