I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Randomize
