why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm đđ»đ
We are so blessed
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
That moment when youâre at the doctor to give a sperm sample youâre only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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