why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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