we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
