Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
