walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
