He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
