just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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