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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.

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• (714): View more from California

  considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (406): View more from Montana

  I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?

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• (360): View more from Washington

  There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (650): View more from California

  No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom

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• (716): View more from New York

  Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.

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