Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.