Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low http://tfl.nu/4tyo
  Replies (24) Good night (3292) Bad night (1392)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this. http://tfl.nu/j4ab
  Replies (5) Good night (4721) Bad night (888)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan" http://tfl.nu/9he5
  Replies (15) Good night (1131) Bad night (4405)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried? http://tfl.nu/xci2
  Replies (14) Good night (3896) Bad night (1475)
• Favorite

  (551): View more from New Jersey

  Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (551): Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me http://tfl.nu/723s
  Replies (9) Good night (884) Bad night (1684)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body? http://tfl.nu/d4hy
  Replies (11) Good night (1588) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...

  (1+44): View more from

  That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl... (1+44): That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh http://tfl.nu/agy9
  Replies (23) Good night (4321) Bad night (1170)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past. http://tfl.nu/8nfc
  Replies (3) Good night (1473) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds http://tfl.nu/ayni
  Replies (16) Good night (1219) Bad night (916)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was. http://tfl.nu/6619
  Replies (2) Good night (1400) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  What kind of costume was that supposed to be??

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  I'm an orgasm trader!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): What kind of costume was that supposed to be?? (1-202): I'm an orgasm trader! http://tfl.nu/kj4e
  Replies (4) Good night (929) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural

  (407): View more from Florida

  YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT

  (239): View more from Florida

  ..........

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural (407): YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT (239): .......... http://tfl.nu/j8fw
  Replies (8) Good night (1502) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before http://tfl.nu/cygr
  Replies (15) Good night (419) Bad night (1024)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits. http://tfl.nu/c0pb
  Replies (8) Good night (462) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away? http://tfl.nu/9eig
  Replies (3) Good night (975) Bad night (210)

Randomize