In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
where does the pee come out of this thing
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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