Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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