Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
