He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
